Couples Therapy & Relationship Counseling in Delaware, Pennsylvania, & Maryland
You love each other - but sometimes your relationship seems to cause more stress than joy. Let’s change that.
If you’ve ever asked for relationship advice (or received it unsolicited), you’ve probably heard
the same thing over and over: “You have to have open communication.”
But what the hell does that actually mean? And why does no one ever explain how to do it?
Look, as a couples therapist of course I’m going to agree that communication is vital to the health of a relationship. But, healthy effective communication in a relationship isn’t just “talking more,” or sharing every single thing that’s on your mind.
It’s about learning how to know what you actually need and want, and expressing that to someone else. It’s about developing the ability to stay in your own skin and not lash out, even when you’re feeling triggered by a partner. AND it’s a SKILL.
I believe we do people a big disservice when we act like you’re just supposed to *magically know* how to be in a healthy relationship just because you’re an adult. Humans tend to learn things in one of two ways - being taught directly, or modeling - so if you weren’t taught directly how to identify your emotions & express them (most of us weren’t) AND you had some less-than-ideal models of relationships growing up - of COURSE it’s going to be hard.
Many of my clients feel broken when really they’re just missing some education. So, whether you’re a long-term monogamous couple, a shiny new pair, considering opening your relationship, or well-practiced polyam folks - the education is the same, and I can help you learn.
What I can help with…
If you're here and even considering relationship counseling, you’re probably experiencing some of the usual bumps in your relationship(s) - things that come up for almost anyone. If you can find yourself somewhere in the statements below (and even if you can’t exactly) - the good news is that you’re not alone, and we can work on these things, one step at a time.
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Whether it's about dishes, sex, screen time, family, or the calendar - somehow it always circles back to the same thing. Or, maybe it comes up, you clam up, and then end up resenting yourself or your partner(s) because it feels impossible to even express yourself and have the argument. In therapy, we’ll slow things down to get a better understanding of what’s happening under the surface - so you start having more different conversations (and less stress!).
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This kind of push-pull can show up in any type of relationship. When one person wants closeness and doesn’t get it, they might feel rejected. Another who wants space might feel smothered or overstimulated and need more time on their own, but feel guilty for asking for it. Pulling for closeness or space isn’t a problem - we just have to help you learn how to communicate about it and respond to your partner(s) emotional needs with presence and intention - so everyone can get more of what they need without it turning into an argument.
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You tiptoe around what’s really bothering you, keep your feelings to yourself, or say that you’re “fine,” even when you know your partner knows you’re not. Maybe this avoidance is built out of anxiety, or maybe you’ve tried to engage but it always ends in hurt feelings, yelling, or someone shutting down. Therapy can give you a safe spacer (and an unbiased third party) to practice being honest with each other without it becoming a crisis, so you can learn how to actually hear each other.
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Whether you're monogamous, polyamorous, open, or just curious about what else is possible for your relationship, navigating the wants and needs of multiple people is challenging. It’s so important to honor boundaries and create clear agreements in your relationship(s) - AND that’s not always an easy task. In therapy, we can work to navigate all needs (and feelings) in a grounded responsive way, so you can find some peace again and continue to move forward in your relationship(s).
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Maybe it was infidelity. Maybe it was a broken agreement, a lie, or a slow erosion of honesty over time. Whatever happened, being in a relationship where trust feels fragile can be stressful - AND it doesn’t mean things are unfixable. Therapy can help you understand what went wrong, take accountability for each of your parts (without the need to excessively shame yourself)and explore what healing could actually look like.
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You care about each other, but things aren’t working, and maybe haven’t been for a while. You’ve thought about leaving, maybe you’ve even said as much to your partner. If you’re still unsure, we can work on that together - helping you gain the clarity you need. And, if you have decided to end your relationship, we can work with that too! It can be a truly healing experience for folks to attend therapy together to gain understanding about what went awry in their relationship, decide if they’d like to remain in each other’s lives in any capacity, and end a relationship from a clear, grounded, and respectful place.
How things can start to feel different…
Relationship therapy is a commitment - there are no “quick fixes.” I’m not here to change your partner(s), or to change you. Instead, I’ll help you to uncover the patterns that are holding you back and get you moving forward, even if it feels slow at times. The goods news is that for clients that really put their all into therapy, small shifts in dynamics can be seen in as short as a few weeks. Over time, these shifts build, until one day you realize that you can:
Communicate honestly without it turning into a shutdown or blowup
Say what you actually need, without guilt, panic, or backpedaling
Understand and manage jealousy instead of letting it run rampant in your mind
Trust that you’re on the same team, even if you’re not always on the same page
Repair after conflict instead of pretending it didn’t happen or walking on eggshells for days
Make decisions together without someone constantly folding to keep the peace
Feel secure knowing your relationship is a source of support, not stress
Feel like you’re building something meaningful, not just surviving day to day
Relationships can be one of the most challenging AND most beautiful parts of our lives.
And I’m here to walk with you through all of it.
Frequently asked questions about relationship therapy
Please feel free to review my general FAQ page here as well for additional answers to common questions about therapy overall.
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Not necessarily. At the beginning of our work together, I’ll usually do our first intake session all together, then have at least one session with each individual partner separately to better understand dynamics and history—but most of our work will be done together.
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That’s more common than you think, and an important question. It is important to me that we’re doing work that all parties are interested in doing, but it’s okay if you’re not exactly on the same page right away. I’ll help each of you find your footing, and some personal motivation, so no one feels dragged into the process or left behind.
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Yes. I regularly work with triads, quads, vees, and other relationship constellations. We’ll collaborate to find a rhythm that works for your structure and everyone’s voice gets heard.
Learn more about how I support folks in polyamorous and non-monogamous relationships here.
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If you’re both (or all) still willing to show up, even a little, there’s a path forward. Sometimes things are messy—therapy can help you get clarity on whether you want to repair, restructure, or part with care.
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Yes. I can’t make that decision for you—but I can guide you through the conversations and reflections that make it clearer. Whether you’re working toward reconnection or a respectful transition, therapy can help.
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A relationship therapy intake is $260 for 90 minutes. This longer time is essential to creating a firm foundation for our work together, to ensure that everyone gets time to weigh in and speak to their experiences in the relationship that have led them to come to therapy.
Ongoing regular relationship therapy session rates are determined by length of session. After the initial assessment phase of our work together, we will then discuss options for frequency and length of sessions, and decide what makes the most sense for your relationship, your availability, and your finances. Fees are as follows:
60-minute sessions: $210
75-minute sessions: $235
90-minute sessions: $260
If you have out-of-network benefits, you might be able to submit a superbill for reimbursement. We can discuss this option on a free consult or you can read more on my FAQ page here.